A Tokyo-3 April Fool's Day
by feithecontact
Summary: This is what happens when my alter ego takes control. -_^ This is a little idea that started bouncing around in my head around April 1st, but I'm such a procrastinator I didn't finish it till now! I'm not even sure they celebrate April Fool's Day (or so


Toji Suzuhara awoke from a deep and comfortable sleep.  
  
He yawned and stretched, then opened his eyes slowly.  
  
The ceiling of his bedroom met his gaze, looking back down at him.  
  
Toji smiled and sprang out of bed.  
  
"April Fool's Day!"  
  
***  
  
feithecontact presents...  
A Tokyo-3 April Fool's Day  
  
DISCLAIMER: This story contains a few mild sexual connotations. If you no like, then   
you no should read.  
  
***  
  
"It's hot."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Commanders Ikari and Fuyutsuki, the two highest officers of the UN satellite   
organization known as NERV, and the defenders of humanity against the threat of the   
Angels, sat in lawn-chairs on the sandy stretch of beach in Okinawa. Even sunbathing,   
they each wore their characteristic dark clothing. Gendo took a long sip of lemonade   
from the glass at his side.  
  
"Tell me again what we're doing here," he muttered darkly.  
  
"It's called a vacation."  
  
"Ah, yes. A vacation."  
  
There was a long pause as the two sat in silence, feeling the sun soak into their   
clothing.  
  
"Why are we taking a vacation?" Gendo asked softly.  
  
"It's required that all NERV officers take at least one week of vacation every fifteen   
years."  
  
"Hmm. We're going to be doing this for a week?"  
  
"Looks like it."  
  
Gendo Ikari settled back in his lawn-chair. If he could face down Angels, he could beat   
this... vacation... thing.  
  
***  
  
"Wake up, Shin-chan!"  
  
Shinji woke up to Misato standing over him. She wore one of her characteristic 'I'm   
relaxing at home' tight shirts. Problem was, Shinji could see right up it.  
  
The poor boy managed to gargle desperately before he passed out in a pool of the blood   
leaking from his nose.  
  
Misato snickered. "April Fools, Shin-chan!"  
  
A few minutes later, Shinji woke up again. Shaking his head at Misato's odd habits, he   
made his way into the bathroom to wash the blood off himself. When he came out, he   
found Misato and Asuka both seated at the table eating breakfast.  
  
Asuka spoke up as he entered. "Misato, you should know that poor delicate Shinji can't   
take that kind of thing." She broke off into derisive laughter. Shinji just got his food, sat   
down, and started eating.  
  
Misato scolded Asuka. "Don't make fun of him too much; it was just an April Fool's joke,   
and I'm sure he'll get me back later."  
  
The red-haired girl snorted. "Shinji? Get you back? He probably couldn't think up a   
prank if his life depended on it!"  
  
Shinji just sighed.  
  
Asuka elbowed him. "Jeez, you're no fun! You don't even defend yourself."  
  
Shinji sighed again. "I'm not very good at this practical joke thing."  
  
Asuka grinned wryly. "What a surprise. Well, we'd better get going to school!" She   
patted Shinji on the back as she passed him, leaving behind a piece of paper with   
writing on it. She winked at Misato as she ran out the door.  
  
Shinji stood up slowly and walked after her. Misato read the sign while his back was   
turned to her. It read 'Look at me! I'm the one who painted the principle's car pink!'  
  
"Have a nice day at school, Shin-chan!" Misato couldn't keep from chuckling as she   
said it.  
  
Shinji frowned and scratched his head. *What is she talking about?* Shrugging, he   
continued on his way to school.  
  
***  
  
Rei Ayanami was busy doing nothing.  
  
It was an art she had much practice at.  
  
Some people might have called it Zen, but it didn't matter much to Rei. She didn't do   
nothing in order to reach enlightenment; she did it because she had nothing better to do.  
  
The buzz of her alarm clock interrupted her. It was time to go to school.  
  
And at school was where THE PLAN would be put into action.  
  
Anyone but Rei would have smiled at the thought.  
  
***  
  
Shortly after arriving at school, Shinji was called to the principle's office. After a long   
discussion about the evils of practical jokes, and the sacrilege of painting the principle's   
car, they let him go.  
  
He shuffled disconsolately down the hallway, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets.   
He sighed periodically as he went.  
  
"Yep, just looking at the poor bozo's almost enough to depress me," Toji whispered to   
his companion, Kensuke, from where they were hidden behind a desk. They had been   
waiting patiently for the moment when Shinji would depart the office.  
  
"Don't tell me you're getting second thoughts about this?" Kensuke asked, adjusting his   
glasses as he looked at his friend.  
  
"A'course not, stupid! I'M the one who came up with it, reme-"  
  
They both looked up as a loud rapping sound on the desk interrupted Toji's irate   
soliloquy. The principle stood there looking at them, his mouth pulled down in a tight   
frown of disapproval. "Shouldn't you two be somewhere else... such as in CLASS,   
perhaps?"  
  
"Y-yessir!" The two scrambled to get out of the hallway.  
  
The principle harrumphed importantly and resettled his glasses before turning back to   
his office, muttering something about kids these days.  
  
***  
  
When Toji and Kensuke got back to the classroom, Ms. Class Rep. was busy throwing   
her weight around. "I already told you, no pranks in school! Wait till you get home to do   
that immature stuff!" She turned as the pair entered sheepishly.  
  
"And where have you two been? I expected this sort of thing from Suzuhara, but I'm   
surprised you'd stoop so low, Aida. I should've known you two would stick together   
about everything."  
  
Toji groaned and muttered something about stupid class reps always cramping   
everyone's style.  
  
The resulting explosion registered a 3.4 on the Richter scale.  
  
***  
  
Toji and Kensuke snickered as Shinji walked by them out of the class, and glanced at   
each other furtively.  
  
As Shinji walked down the hallway, a wave of silence broken only by exclamations of   
surprise followed in his wake. On his back hung a piece of paper.  
  
It read - 'Heh, I made it with Misato AND Asuka last night! Ah, you gotta love   
roommates!'  
  
Shinji was too busy moping and sighing to notice the odd behavior he seemed to be   
causing. After a while, some of the boys started patting Shinji on the shoulder and   
congratulating him, but he shrugged it off as normal April Fool's Day weirdness.  
  
Hikari took notice of the sign on Shinji's back, and immediately turned to Toji and   
Kensuke, who were both fighting a losing battle against laughter that had turned their   
faces an unnatural shade of red.  
  
"I'm sure you two had nothing to do with THAT, right?"  
  
Kensuke snorted, and spent a few minutes composing himself. The redness finally left   
his face, and he turned to face the class rep, straightening his shirt with a dignified air.   
"Do you really think we're perverted enough to set Shinji up with a threesome?" he   
asked calmly.  
  
***  
  
The scientists in NERV gawked at their instruments, beginning to wonder if some sort of   
earthquake-causing Angel was drawing near the city.  
  
***  
  
Rei Ayanami walked through the hallway, unmolested by April Fool's pranksters.  
  
No one was really sure why they wouldn't dare play a prank on her. Even Asuka had   
planned one out, a real doozy to play on Wondergirl, but had lost her nerve with one   
glance from those crimson eyes.  
  
"She's just too... quiet," one boy whispered to another as she passed.  
  
"Yeah, spooky. She gives me the creeps."  
  
Rei Ayanami paid no attention to the things people whispered about her. THE PLAN was   
all that mattered. She did smile this time, and the people who saw it shivered.  
  
***  
  
Gendo Ikari looked around his hotel room.  
  
Bright sunlight streamed in through the many large windows. A set of sliding glass   
doors led out onto a little porch which overlooked the beach. The two beds were   
covered with light blankets stitched with colorful flower designs. In the corner was a TV.   
It was a rather pretty room.  
  
"It's too... bright."  
  
Fuyutsuki nodded.  
  
"The walls aren't made out of metal." Gendo frowned slightly.  
  
"No," agreed Fuyutsuki.  
  
"There's no nifty little elevators." Gendo folded his hands behind his back, and   
harrumphed.  
  
Fuyutsuki arched a single eyebrow, but didn't turn to look at his boss. "Did you just say   
nifty?"  
  
Gendo turned to look at the older man. "I did, didn't I?"  
  
Fuyutsuki nodded.  
  
Gendo growled. "I will NOT let this vacation thing get to me." Muttering, he started   
unpacking.  
  
***  
  
Shinji sat at his desk, looking morosely at the teacher, who was droning endlessly on   
about the Second Impact and mankind's triumphant rebirth from the ashes of   
destruction. He sighed, glancing out the window.  
  
He caught Rei's eyes as she was turning from looking out the same window.  
  
***  
  
Rei caught Shinji's eyes when she turned back from looking at the street outside the   
window. The teacher droned in the background.  
  
She smiled slightly at him. Yes, THE PLAN. It would happen soon.  
  
***  
  
Toji and Kensuke burst into quiet snickers any time they caught each other's eyes.   
They still couldn't get over the one they had pulled on Shinji.  
  
***  
  
Hikari frowned at Aida and Suzuhara's antics. *Stupid boys. How can they be so   
immature?*  
  
***  
  
Just then, the door to the classroom burst open in a shower of splintering wood. The   
students began to yell and dive behind their desks as a dark silhouette entered the   
doorway. Rei Ayanami began to laugh softly where she sat in the corner. Shinji looked   
up and saw the shadow, and smiled slightly.  
  
A gigantic Pen-Pen stood in the doorway. His heavy red eyebrows were drawn low over   
his fierce black eyes, and he unleashed a penguin war-cry as he ran full tilt into the   
room.  
  
In the background, the teacher continued to drone, oblivious to the commotion.  
  
The girls in the class began to scream as one by one, the giant Pen-Pen grabbed them,   
and... looked up their skirts.  
  
"It's some kind of perverted super Pen-Pen!" Asuka yelled, beating it over the head with   
a desk as it lifted up her skirt.  
  
In the corner, Rei's laughter was beginning to be tinged by a maniacal edge, and Shinji   
had joined her.  
  
Pen-Pen finished with Asuka, and turned its black, beady little eyes on Hikari. The giant   
penguin advanced slowly on the class rep, who backed herself up into a corner.  
  
Just then, Misato came tearing into the room, breathing hard. "I... *huff* I heard there   
was some kind of *puff* Angel here causing earthquakes..." Her eyes widened as she   
caught sight of the gigantic lecherous penguin. "PEN-PEN?! WHAT ARE YOU   
_DOING_?!"  
  
The penguin straightened slowly from the cowering students, and turned to face Misato.   
Slowly, Pen-Pen raised his hands to his head, and grabbed hold of his eyebrows. Then   
Pen-Pen ripped his head off.  
  
"APRIL FOOLS!!" Rei and Shinji bellowed at the same time, breaking down into gales of   
maniacal laughter.  
  
"Hiya, Beautiful!" Kaji grinned at Misato from within the giant penguin suit.  
  
"B-b but... uh... K-kaj uh y-you wuh huh P-p-pen...?!" Misato stammered intelligently.  
  
Kaji turned and bowed to Shinji. "Thanks for including me in your prank, Shinji. It was a   
lot of fun."  
  
Misato stared at Shinji. "Th-this was all YOUR idea?!"  
  
Shinji blushed slightly. "Well, mine and Rei's."  
  
Misato face-faulted.  
  
"Well then," Kaji beamed. "My part's done, so I'll just be on my way now." He started   
making his way out of the classroom.  
  
"Hold it right there!" Asuka grabbed the arm of the penguin suit. "You really let Shinji   
and Wondergirl convince you to come in here and look up girl's SKIRTS?!"  
  
Kaji smiled weakly at the red-haired girl. "Well, no, um... what I mean is... that was my   
idea. I just thought it would be a... nice touch?"  
  
"Nice touch, he says," Hikari muttered grimly, cracking her knuckles.  
  
All the female students then proceeded to beat Kaji into the floor.  
  
Shinji and Rei were busy in the corner, planning for next year.  
  
***  
  
EPILOGUE:  
  
The door to the NERV control room opened slowly, as the bridge crew all waited at   
attention. This was the day of their commanders' return.  
  
Gendo Ikari stepped into the room and smiled slightly. He was wearing a hawaian shirt,   
baggy shorts, and sandals. Fuyutsuki, dressed similarly, was standing behind him.  
  
Gendo turned to the gray-haired doctor. "We made it."  
  
"Yes."  
  
The two collapsed onto the floor of the command center.  
  
Doctor Ritsuko Akagi shook her head. "I told them that a vacation would be lost of these   
two..."  
  
END  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
This was a fun little distraction that I thought up on April 1st, but didn't get around to   
writing till now. Hope you enjoyed it - now back to working on Landscape of the Soul   
(and everything else x_X). 


End file.
